©

Maxwell Zhou. UDUB BITCHES. 17. Unsingle. Because Elsa (jk, not really. Sorry not sorry). I like eating. I like playing video games and wasting time.

sassybabushka:

When my friend was in fourth grade her teacher asked for an example of irony, and she answered “Harry Potter searching for the final horcrux, but he is the final horcrux” and her teacher started screaming and said “I DIDN’T FINISH THE BOOK OH MY GOD!”

83,858 notes

bewbin:

"the weather seems ruff today doesnt it Spot haha?""dont patronize me Greg"
togurowuzhere:

madeupmonkeyshit:

dodging these hoes like

dodging responsibility like
unclefather:

roosterhunter:

we’re up all night to get denny’s

i’m up all night to get pregnant
kingcheddarxvii:

Wow! This guy is so tiny! But it’s cool he gets to pursue tennis anyway. People like him give me so much hope
merlwyb:

lemme see if it was any good
no delete it i look dumb

sovji:

*steals ur credit card*

hasta la visa

605,308 notes

vvhatserface:

vvhatserface:

KITTY. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!


I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE
ineffable-hufflepuff:

misandryevans:

babymarkers:

the-chocolate-chip-pancake:

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

none pizza with left beef

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

ive missed you

#THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos)

I love None Pizza with Left Beef.

just-a-little-stump:

trauntwave:

a transgender person has a child

they are now transparent

I almost thought there was gonna be something mean at the end of that. Nope. Just a pun

114,790 notes

batlock:

So.

Cards Against Humanity.

I’m a big fan. Well, I bought this.

image

It’s great. It hold all of my shit. But it holds something else too.

If you have it, open your box.

image

You see how I started to tear away at the top of the box there?

Do that.

Do it carefully.

image

Holy shit.

There’s something in there. What could that be?

image

There’s a card.

There is a card literally hidden in the top of the box.

But what card?

image

I fucking love these people.

367,739 notes